Parentification And The Wounded Healer
So many of us who are survivors of childhood trauma
spent our early years desperately attempting
to caretake or even heal our parents
in hopes of receiving the love and care we so deserved.
This is parentification…
when we are forced to be parents to our parents,
and in the process,
we never truly got to be children
or have our own needs met properly.
When we grow up in this way,
we may find in adulthood
that we are so focused on the needs of others
that our own needs continue to go unmet.
Eventually, this way of living can make us burned out,
resentful, and sick,
and can even make us vulnerable
to predatory types
who will take advantage
of our kindness and lack of boundaries.
It may take decades for us
to accept that it is impossible to heal others,
that in fact, others must be willing to take responsibility
for their own lives and well-being,
and that we need to do the same
if we are ever going to truly be happy and healthy.
The very best we can do for ourselves
and others is to heal the neglected inner child
within us who never got their needs met.
Once we transform our own lives in this way,
our true work with others can begin.
What we find is that being a healer doesn’t mean self-sacrifice,
but that it is a natural extension of a healed self.
The healing balm that we offer the world is
our own compassionate, loving, embodied wisdom
that naturally flows from us to everyone we touch.