Our Own Love
In living with CPTSD,
we spend a lot of time in survival mode.
Our trauma lays all of the blame and responsibility
for what happened to us square on our shoulders.
It tells us that what happened to us
is our fault and that the bad things that happen
in our lives now are also our fault.
It tells us that if we can only fix ourselves,
others will love us and not abandon us,
and maybe, just maybe we can be happy.
When we begin to heal,
we start to understand what happened to us
was not our fault
and that believing that it was our fault
was an adaptation that kept us safe in a horrible situation.
We see that self-compassion is a major key
to our healing and that we truly don’t need
to change or fix anything about ourselves
to be worthy of love and happiness.
Our greatest task is to learn to love
the parts of ourselves
that have never been touched by love,
and once we do,
the healing balm of our own love
gradually transforms our lives and relationships,
opening the door to the love
and happiness we always longed for.